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Smelling the Roses
Area business people discover that getting a life makes them more effective professionals
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Business New Haven
6/18/2001
By: Fiona Phelan
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Taking time to stop and smell the roses may seem like one more unwelcome thing to schedule into your already overbooked life, but doing something you enjoy - even for just 15 minutes each day - has substantial personal and professional benefits.
Between getting the kids off to school, commuting to work, working an eight hour-plus day, driving home, shuttling the family to various events and activities, cooking dinner, cutting the grass, doing the laundry - the list is endless - it's not surprising that many people “just don't have the time” to pursue a hobby or interest. But those who do say the benefits are outstanding.
According to the Gallup Organization, a full-time employee works an average of more than 46 hours per week - that's more than 25 percent of your entire 168-hour week devoted to the job. Then there's the 56 hours you lose to sleep (assuming eight hours per night, as the doctor recommends). Now you're down to just 66 hours of time - or less than ten hours a day of free time. Of course, when you subtract the time you spend commuting you're down to even less. How best to use those scant hours that are left?
Learning to deal with the everyday stresses of life is key to maintaining good health. According to surveys and research reports, 43 percent of all adults suffer adverse health effects due to stress. An estimated one million employees are absent on an average workday because of stress-related complaints.
“Do something each day for yourself that you like - whether it's taking a walk, or a bath by candlelight, meeting a friend for coffee or fitting in a 15-minute telephone conversation,” says Lynn Lehane, a psychotherapist in clinical practice in Killingworth and New London and former adjunct professor of social work at Southern Connecticut State University.
“Nurture yourself,” she implores. “This is something too many of us do not do, especially women. Give yourself small rewards in terms of mentally acknowledging all you do, instead of taking the many things for granted.”
Plant a garden, read a book, fish, play tennis, golf, softball, toss a Frisbee, learn relaxation techniques through yoga, go bird-watching, knit, quilt, sew, cook, volunteer your time. Your choice of pastime doesn't have to be intellectually stimulating or physically challenging; the point is to enjoy what you do for the calm it brings into your life.
“A lot of women's stress comes from the balance of work and family,” says Anne Noble-Walker, a Hartford-area labor and employment attorney and president of the Connecticut Women's Council.
Women, she notes, also have a keen sense of social responsibility and volunteer their time and energy for causes that are important to them - enriching their own lives at the same time as they are aiding an organization.
“I get a lot of satisfaction out of helping people,” says Claudia Marks, director of network regional planning for SNET. When she's not at the telecommunications company, Marks is a director of the Connecticut chapter of Y-ME, a breast cancer awareness and peer support group. In the past she has served as a peer counselor (Marks and her family have a history of breast cancer) and as a hotline volunteer helping other women cope with the stresses of breast cancer.
“Knowledge is power,” she says of her efforts to provide information about breast cancer at every opportunity.
Marks is not the only woman who finds volunteering personally enriching. When Susan Glasspiegel isn't running her own employment agency for professionals looking for flexible work, she's organizing a benefit golf tournament for “Chip In For a Cure,” another breast-cancer awareness group.
“I find I get intrinsic satisfaction working on social causes,” she says. “My work is also very enriching and the third leg of my life is keeping a - hopefully - happy family.”
Nevertheless, Noble-Walker says, women sometimes get so caught up in their volunteer activities that they forget about cultivating their professional lives.
“Women are not always nurturing their business relationships, which can hurt them professionally. We need to attend those business-after-hours meetings and other networking events,” she says. “Even when we're networking with other professionals we get off the subject of our business lives and talk about our personal lives. These networking opportunities can become personally rewarding as well.”
Maintaining a happy family is the reason why Susan Gumbart heads off to Wesleyan Potters every week to work with clay. Gumbart is also active in several book clubs, her local library and church.
“It brings me peace,” says the former vice president of new media opportunities at New York's Young & Rubicam of pottery. “I get a great deal of personal satisfaction from being able to create something. I like being able to use my artistic side.
“When I'm at pottery I can't think of anything else,” adds Gumbart, who is starting her own graphics business and raising two children. “I have total immersion when I'm at pottery. I forget about everything else.”
At the same time, she notes, she must tread a fine line between being at pottery too much where it becomes another thing on her “to do” list and having fun.
Gina Langella, a professional recruiter at Dunhill Personnel, is also an avid ceramics enthusiast.
“I started because I wanted to make some gifts,” she says, “but I still do it because I like the outlet. It's totally distracting and there's a great social aspect. It's mostly women at Ceramic Treasures in West Haven, and I've developed some friendships there.”
“Do the things you like with passion - not half-heartedly,” says Lehane, the psychotherapist. “You know you are feeling fulfilled if you can 'lose yourself' in the activity or ' lose all track of time'.”
Letting go of everyday stresses is just what Mindy Crouse-Artus strives for when she attends weekly yoga sessions. The deep breathing techniques and inner strength-building helps her relax from the pressures of raising three children and working as a research assistant in the Child and Adolescent Research and Education Program at Yale University.
“I like yoga because it encompasses body, mind and soul,” explains Crouse-Artus. “I don't have an organized religion, so this provides me something spiritual in my life.
“Yoga is all about breathing - about letting go and not holding in your stresses,” Crouse-Artus adds. “I use it every day in all kinds of situations. It has helped tremendously during childbirth. We have this ability of deep breathing that very few people utilize. We have everything within us to maintain health and happiness.”
Like Crouse-Artus, New Haven alderwoman Nancy Ahearn (R-25) is able to use her stress-busting hobby wherever she goes. In fact, she's known for it. There isn't a single city meeting where Ahearn doesn't show up with her knitting in hand.
“At first people were aghast because they thought I wasn't paying attention,” Ahearn explains. In fact, quite the opposite was true: Knitting helps Ahearn concentrate on the meeting and makes what can sometimes be a dull evening into something productive.
“Most of what I knit I give away,” says Ahearn, “and that gives me satisfaction, too, knowing that someone is enjoying something that I made or a non-profit organization is able to benefit from the auction of one of my items.
“I always figured that if Eleanor Roosevelt could knit through meetings at the United Nations, then I could knit wherever I wanted,” she adds.
Chris Joyell recently started a new job as a steward for the Connecticut River Watershed Council. The position entails maintaining the health of the Connecticut River from the Massachusetts border down to Long Island Sound - more than 50 miles of river. With the benefit of working from home it sounds like Joyell has a pretty cushy job. Not so, says he.
“Working from home I can't always escape the office,” he says. “I have to set myself strict rules about when I will or will not answer the phone, or at what point to no longer check office e-mails.”
In fact, Joyell has established a routine of dividing his day into three discrete parts: early morning for birdwatching; day time for work; and evening hours for more bird watching, ultimate Frisbee, or reading.
“It's very therapeutic for me to start my day outside,” says Joyell. “My routine is very disciplined, but it's structured in such a way that it gives me a lot of freedom to enjoy the things I like doing.
“I have found a good balance between work and my hobbies but I find myself having to defend it,” he notes. “My motto has always been that I might get hit by a bus tomorrow, so I had better enjoy today.”
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